Hello and welcome to another edition of the Buffalo’s Anime Season Previews. I’m back, and as harsh and unforgiving as ever. Last season gave us the bounty of Nichijou, Deadman Wonderland, Steins;Gate, and Maria Holic S2, thankfully half of which are still showing, and since they’re either finished or half-finished I recommend watching them – slowly – perhaps over the course of what is not going to be a stellar season.
We arrive at the Summer anime season primed and ready for the fact that nothing will be showing that is worth a damn. I know I haven’t even finished watching the new shows yet but, I’m positive that it’s going to be mostly meh to shit. Summer has been statistically terrible for great animes. In the past 3 summers the handful I can name that were really good were Eden of the East, Angel Beats, Arakawa, and FMA Brotherhood. That’s not the most stellar of lists either.
Anyway as always I decide to slightly change the formula for how my reviews work – so I’ve reworked this column. This time however the actual reading format will be identical to Spring ’11. Rather than waiting three weeks to get your reviews though I will be updating daily filling in new shows. Updated see bottom for Final Thoughts. I’ll have a list at the bottom of shows not aired, and check back every couple of days to see what my opinion/ADHD summary is. (Note: Once again all images from MyAnimeList.net)
Anyway I’ve dragged on long enough so let’s get into it. Updates in Bold.
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Name: Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu Ni!
Subtitle: The “Idiots and exams part 2 because we love jokes about a guy being a girl” anime
Summary: SIMOUN GRIT THOSE TEETH! And sister raping you. Why am I alive? Why do I exist in a world where this exists as well? He’s a guy stop inventing a chest on him. Blood hurricane. Nose destruction. Gropefest. I just realized this, the first episode of the new season is a beach episode. That’s never ever ever ever ever ever a good sign that the series is any good. You suck. Murdered.
Review: This didn’t need to exist. Granted neither did the first season, but a second? Seriously anime what is wrong with you? I understand that things like K-On are moneyhats and moar = moar money. But this? Was anyone watching this and enjoying it? I doubt it.
Date Added: 7/10/11
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Name: Blade
Subtitle: The “I should have never made fun of Heroman” anime
Summary: OH GOD THOSE EYES. They inject sperm into their bites? 5 mins in, yeah, you know what I’m just not feelin it. Eventually Japan will realize that adapting our established franchises to anime is a bad idea and just stop.
Review: Honestly Japan take a seat. Japan you have a problem, you keep trying to take American stuff and adapt it. Yes, yes I know all your people can think of for original anime is moe moe bullshit, but you’ve got a good supply of manga over there to work from (Hint hint Gainax, where’s my Lucifer and Biscuit Hammer anime). So please stop this nonsense. You’re hurting innocent people this way.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Blood C
Subtitle: The “Google has stolen our + sign, let’s use the letter C for some reason” anime
Summary: Atoms? Well nature is determined by birth, you’re thinking of nurture, common mistake. Mexican jumping bats. DERP. Did those twins just do a butt bump? She’s even called Saya too? Oooo she got some distance on that face slide. Aww she loves his dad, too bad he’s going to die, most likely saving you. Random nonsense song. Aww c’mon where’s the evil monster, damn it goes to school. Wait that’s the school uniform, I thought she was just wearing goth clothing. What uniform has a chain around the neck. DEMONS! Or Basketball. Darkness. That dog is unfazed. It’s a statue, and it’s coming right for you. BLOOD. Ok.
Review: This series will be horribly violent, dissonant with the jumbling school life, solid in terms of fight scenes and animation, and standard in terms of plot. It will also be a failure as an anime. I know it’s hasty to call things like this, but this has no spark, no flair, nothing that makes it above anything else. The worst part? You don’t even feel like it’s trying to do that at all. It’s like they’re going through the motions, well rehearsed and beautifully executed, but it’s got no soul. I know some of you were banking on this being the fantastic series that makes the summer bearable, but in my honest opinion people will watch Blood C, but they won’t remember it.
Date Added: 7/8/11
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Name: Dantalian no Shoka
Subtitle: The “Knowledge is power is less weird than breasts = power” anime
Summary: He has a point, it is inconvenient to be in a place that has no name. Pbbbbbhhhhtttt. Book obsession, pfft this ain’t Read or Die you can’t interest me. All the books are GONE! Very not secretive secret door. Fear chords? Your a pet lol. Sprinkle sugar on bread? So gosick part 2? He’s walking into a trap! Shi- there’s totally raptors. Or faceless jesters. Elephants, lions wait a minute. THE BOOK IS JUMANJI, or a circus… meh. Bleh whatever. TROGDOR! You’ve got some moves for an air force pilot. Demon contract time. Hairy chest… eww. Reading books to gain power – meh gb2 Index, using book paper as a weapon? WAY COOLER. And there’s one MacGuffin sealed, time for some more after some lighthearted comedy. There it is.
Review: Eh, it’s not bad. It’s one of those series where I don’t hate it so I watch it, but I’d never recommend it, and I don’t think it has amazing potential either.
Date Added: 7/18/11
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Name: Double – J
Subtitle: The “Lazy, but still higher quality than Akikan” anime
Summary: You can’t start saying the story thus far in a first episode, that’s just bad writing. Oh it’s a flash anime, so quality = shit. YHUP. They’re having a conversation about toothpicks and now rain gutters. WUT IS YOUR FACE, LITERALLY WHAT IS IT? THAT IS NOT A FACE, THAT IS A THING. You’re overlaying flash drawn anime chars over black and white photography. You see Shaft could get away with doing that for like a scene, not the whole anime. Ahh here’s the animation budget the ending of a 4 minute episode.
Review: This is one of those boring flash drawn animes most everyone ignores. While yes Reibai-sensei from last season is mildly entertaining I’d advise everyone adopt a similiar strategy here and ignore this.
Date Added: 6/7/11
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Name: IdolM@aster
Subtitle: The “Yes it needs and @ symbol because this is the future!” anime
Summary: Idols, something I literally COULD NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT. Aka FUCK ALL SEIYUU FAGS. Music, essential to all commutes. She’s conversing with the narrator? Stop photobombing. Evil hamster! Why does she have a shovel? Lol Freud. Right for the boobs. STFU. She’s chair-running away? Pbbbbbhhhhhhttttttt. Donatello? They spelled out sweatdrop… Pretty sure robo fights made this way better. An idol? It’s a boring anime. NO STOP THE TONGUE THING IT’S NOT CUTE YOU ARE JUST STICKING YOUR TONGUE OUT. Thank god it’s over.
Review: I liked this anime better 2 years ago when it had mechs and wasn’t about the japanese idol industry, a topic pretty much everyone but those in said industry does not care about. Raise your hands if you liked Love Love, if so then you will also like this. Before you continue to watch though take said raised hands fill them hammers and LITERALLY BEAT YOURSELF TO DEATH.
Date Added: 6/10/11
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Name: Ikoku Meiro no Croisee
Subtitle: The “How much do Japanese slaves go for these days?” anime
Summary: Oh man angel statues, and only the female angel is naked. Oh man not Paris. A kimono? GTFO Europe. I appreciate the slow ja-dammit it’s Japanese chicky folk rock. This is going to be sloowwwwwwwwwww. So he’s a merchant who OH GAWD HE STOLE THAT LITTLE JAPANESE GIRL YOU CRAZY BEARDED BASTARD. She can bend her back she’s a witch! Aka booth babes. I’m the beard wizard, but don’t tell anyone. DERPPPP. Bored. DERPPPP. Scaring away customers. DESTROYED. Get out of my country. You know when they all speak Japanese it’s hard to tell if they’re actually meant to be speaking French. Oh my god so bored. FRENCH BABBLE.
Review: I think we may have the slowest anime of the season award warmed up for what we got right here. (And Natsume S3 is coming out.) Seriously and I mean this having just started Last Exile finally, if you’re making something set in the Victorian Era and it’s not deliciously steampunk or filled to the brim with murder and kings and stuff – you’re fired. Go home. Just stop writing and animating and go do something else. I hate how anime thinks it can get away with being slow and boring, but by setting it in a different time it becomes better somehow. (Steampunk improves anything so don’t even try and call me out for being a hypocrite.) Normally I’m fine with slow stuff, but if I watched this with a gun to my temple the gun’d look much nicer after 5 minutes.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Itsuka Tenma no Kuro Usagi
Subtitle: The “Has any series that mentioned a rabbit been good? Sheesh it’s like dragons” anime
Summary: I VANT TO SUCK YUR BLOOD. Wait wut inject them with poison? Isn’t that worse than sucking blood? NOM. You are now my slave. TELL ME YOU LOVE ME SO THE BLACK MAGIC IS COMPLETE. PPPPBBBBBHHHHTTTT. You drool and I just eat that shit up. Did you just have a giant flare to block out a row of panties? Okay hold the fuck, if you call people trash NOBODY WILL LIKE YOU I DON’T CARE IF YOUR HOT SHIT AND POPULAR YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG AND EVERYONE WOULDN’T TAKE YOUR SHIT. PHHHBBBTTTTTT. Oh crip he’s a crapple. Wut. DEATH BY BUS! Shock the monkey. He’s headless and still alive? And instant anti-loli. PPPPBBBBBBBHHHHHHTTTTT. STABBED THROUGH THE HEART BITCH!
Review: School life, vampires, forgotten memories of the past, and some monster enemies. Aka this has done nothing interesting, the characters are very bland, and the whole presentation is just godawful. You see I can name on one hand good vampire animes, but if I were to name all vampire animes I’d be here all day and you can guarantee this wouldn’t be on the former list.
Date Added: 6/10/11
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Name: Kaitou Tenshi Twin Angel Kyun Kyun Tokimeki Paradise!!
Subtitle: The “It has kyun in the name, I am already raging” anime
Summary: Black market vegetables. Why. Just why. I hate my life. Honestly I need to be drunk right now, or at least be getting paid a lot for this to be okay. Like this is Mahou Shoujo Anime the Anime. This is more derivative than Infinite Stratos. They just had a screen wipe that was multicolored stars. Oh fuck eyepatch butler, wait why isn’t he armed and killing the characters? Metal Gear? Wait they have assault rifles on campus? They’re even doing the 7 MacGuffins? Top grades, good at sports, and student council president – that’s not real. They transformed, and they’re using gliders? STEREOTYPICAL. Catgirl gas, she just sprayed them with gas to turn girls into catgirls, this actually just happened. And that impossible guy from before is also tuxedo mask. I hate this job.
Review: This is a great candidate for the generic anime drinking game. Note if you take a drink every time you feel you should, you will either destroy your stomach lining or die.
Date Added: 7/7/11
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Name: Kamisama Dolls
Subtitle: The “Hehe god plays with Barbie’s” anime
Summary: OM NOM NOM. Berserk Eva after ya. LASER. Okay you’ve gotten me interested. Now let’s pump the Mai Hime vibes and see where this anime goes. This magical kaleidoscope can make you into a manga drawn version I swear. Also Spanish-beat Japanese music. He’s the sacrifice to Pele god of fire. Jesus she’s actually got volcanoes attached to her. Like everything else looks realistic, but are those tits legal? I’M A DRAGON! Blacked-out. HOLY FUCK. That guy didn’t get murdered, he got genocided. DO IT! Wuss. OH SHIT THE DARKNESS IS ATTACING YOU! I WAS WRONG IT’S A ZAKU FROM A GUNDAM SERIES GET OUT OF THERE. FAIL. You’re fucked. Lol. STINK EYE! Defenestrated. And there goes your security deposit. Shi- he’s free.
Review: Note I literally started writing this and saw this post on SanCom. While it does bring up some very good… points – dammit I can’t not make that joke it actually does feel like the best I’ve seen so far. The characters seem mildly interesting, the willingness to slaughter a man in an elevator was a nice touch, and mysterious villages always get my Higurashi lovin nerve going. I wouldn’t recommend my group of friends to pick this up immediately, but I’m willing to give it a try. Rest of ya? Try 3 episodes and see if you like it.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Kamisama no Memo-chou
Subtitle: The “You’re not NHK or Lain, sit back down and shutup.” anime
Summary: Okay gg subbed show don’t let me down. TEXTING. Musical light keyboard keyboard? DID THEY JUST MAKE A NEET/NEAT PUN? FUCK. I HAVE YOU NOW. A boring Durarara? It’s more likely than you think. I am of course referring to whether you can bend over and take my dick. And a half naked prostitute just jumped out the window with a bloody ashtray that the pevert just killed the boyfriend with and now you’ve got a gun on you. Oh he’s okay. See you in hell! You know my name? Ahh it’s Haruhi. Lol. THROW HIM BY THE FACE! 2 Phones what a douchebag. Lain? Nope spoiled brat. Speaker for the dead lol gg. I’ve caused wars you know. Okay, so detective stuff. There’s a part 2, but I’m not covering an hour.
Review: I’ll have a single note on whether Part 2 does anything spectacular to this show later, but I’m not holding my breath. I can see where they’re going with the Neet detective route, and the Durarara/Shinjuku vibe, but as a whole not impressed. Granted I only like Durarara because Celty was badass. This doesn’t seem to be going anywhere quick and while the characters provoke mild interest there’s no one you “like”. I will however admit that there will be a fandom fiercely devoted to the barefoot hacker named Alice, but those are sick weird people and are often best ignored.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Manyuu Hikenchiu
Subtitle: The “All my rage before is 1% of the rage from this series” anime
Summary: Okay it’s just a white light. There’s some green border. Did they, no no that can’t be they really didn’t just actually say that. Intro. Oooo what you say. It’s literally a bar. And now it’s a disembodied hand. Are your raping her, I can’t even tell. HOLY SHIT GUYS I JUST FIGURED OUT THIS SERIES. IT’S LIKE BUBBLING NOTHING IS ACTUALLY GOING ON BUT BY GETTING RID OF JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SCREEN IT LOOKS EROTIC. MIND = BLOWN.
Wut cut off her boobs? That’s not fitting with my bubbling theory- jesus christ.
This must be troll subs, and he actually said kill her, yet I know it’s not. Handbra. Wash my tits please. Hey look a white screen. Wut – now they can’t be seriously talking about people hunting for tits – they are. GOTT IST TOT! They sliced her tits off – this is all true and actually happening.
Wait, if you cut their tits theirs shrink and your tits grow – WTF THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE.
WUT. This has somehow managed to go all the way from so bad it’s good to bad again.
Review: Ladies and gentlemen I’ve seen a lot of things. I am a Vietnam vet in terms of the shit I’ve seen man. A part of me compels me to watch this series so that when I see something good I’ll respect it more. Now I read Topless Robot, and often the Scanners image is used for things that blow the mind. Know that I have not used it here lightly. From the premise to everything that happens and even the godawful censorship this may be the worst anime I’ve ever seen. Not the shittiest anime because that title rests with Akikan, the art here is not lacking, only sanity. This series makes me question what’s wrong with the world. I cannot see how sober people could sit down in a room and pitch this, and get it accepted. Ladies and gentlemen I don’t even want to live in that world. I’ve often said I would have some choice words and bombings with the anime industry, but this? I’d simply punch them in the dick and slit their throats and be done with it. Queen’s Blade and Qwaser no Stigmata were odd and perverted yes, but it appears they were only the beginning to the end of humanity.
Date Added: 7/12/11
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Name: Mawaru Penguindrum
Subtitle: The “The only thing that made sense here was that prinnys exist.” anime
Summary: Jesus there’s stars in your room watch out. Shaft opening? Nope. Okay this could be gin talking but you are intriguing me. Whoa wtf art? Well it appears they’re not skimping on details. Yeah a doctor would tell you the truth, duh. Doctors may not be gods, but House is. Philosophical discussion between 2nd graders, or a video game? Fucken penguins everywhere, and they have armbands? Wut? Shi- she collapsed. She dead. Holy crap that’s actually a spoiler? WUT? She woke back up? Lol hat falling. It’s a downright penguin miracle. Frozen Dragon Eggs? Shi- it’s Game of Thrones. Floating bathroom symbols? It would appear they spent money on backgrounds and nothing on background characters. Blue.. penguin… FUCK IT’S A PRINNY! AND IT CAN SUMMON WHATEVER YOU NEED. Shh hes mental? Did the mom actually just say that? It’s a ghost prinny? YOU’RE FUCKED IT’S FOLLOWING YOU. It totaled that bug. Tron? Did it just become a song? WTFUCK? Naked heart ripping out? I am thoroughly confuzzled. Surprise incest? Nipple straps. Why do the shirts just open to show off panties? Penquins taking a dump and eating toilet paper?
Review: As the long summary may hint at there’s a lot going on here. This series is my favorite of the season. Most everything else I’ve seen has been good/solid but I’d only be watching it because that’s what I do. This however I can see going places. This I can recommend. Perhaps it’s my Shaft vibe that’s being triggered and not this series being fantastic, but I really do like this. Except for the incest at the end what the hell was that doing there?
Date Added: 7/11/11
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Name: Mayo Chiki!
Subtitle: The “Princess Lover now with more crossdressing” anime
Summary: First words – wake up nii-san. I’M. ALREADY. PISSED. OFF. Wait she’s fighting bears? STOP SCREAMING MY EARS CAN’T TAKE IT. Whoa. Wut. Yup you’re gay. Why cat ears? Why? And there’s the crossdressing, which I gotta say if you’re going to cross dress as a guy and not wear the right underwear – commit for chrissakes. Hit him until he can’t remember anything. Whoa whoa whoa wait a second I’m pretty sure when you dive tackle someone to save them from a falling object they don’t suddenly undress. Wut. He’s a cyborg? 500 dollar slap! Man he just can’t get hard unless she knifes his shirt off. And of course.
Review: It’s another harem anime, it’s another crossdressing anime, another butler anime, and another sado-maso anime. Seriously I said MM! was derivative, this is the derivative of MM! The only thing that could have made this anime worth watching? If the sister character just started actually wrestling bears and we got to see those fight scenes for 22mins.
Date Added: 7/8/11
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Name: Morita-san wa Mukuchi
Subtitle: The “ADHD airing schedule, Spergers characters, and Ebola plot” anime
Summary: 3 minutes, already feel it’ll be too long. wut…. Taciturn? Ok she’s maintaining eye contact, and not saying anything. I also want to know when its going to end. BLANK STARE. Ahh right this is the one where she can’t converse, because she’s autistic. And over.
Review: Okay so I think what they’re doing here is having 3 minutes episodes so you don’t dwell on how socially awkward this person is, and how absolutely nothing is going on. I know they had an opening and only like 1 minute to actually do stuff, but seriously this is ridiculous. Move on and watch some actual anime.
Date Added: 7/7/11
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Name: Natsume Yuujinchou S3
Subtitle: The “Mushishi still > this.” anime
Summary: Oh man time for another season of mediocre Mushshi ripoff. Everyone’s reaction: Why is he on the roof? Teacup with legs? Note: I am 7 minutes in and this is all I’ve written because it’s so uneventful. Oh man that old lady is going to eat you. Creepy… And now you’re cursed. SHE’S OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE! And he just ate your shoulder. Like when ghosts think you look like your grandmother, you know you’re effeminate. Bored.
Review: I actually kinda like this anime despite what I’ve said; however if someone said it was slow, boring, and not even that good I’d have to agree with them. That’s really all I can say about it. If you watch 1 ep and you don’t fall asleep you might want to pick up where S1 and S2 left off, most likely though, just move on.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Nekogami Yaoyorozu
Subtitle: The “Ppphhhbbbttt” anime
Summary: Dammit. I want to rage and then I remember Manyuu. NOPE TOO BAD I’M RAGIN. AAnd I don’t care. They all have catears – why? And I don’t care. Beer. And I don’t care. A tank? Wut. And I don’t care. Ppppppphhhhhhhbbbbbbbtttttttt. And I don’t care. Ok. And I don’t care.
Review: I just don’t care, this is so meh and boring that I literally couldn’t give a damn. Move on.
Date Added: 7/12/11
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Name: No. 6
Subtitle: The “Wait this takes place in 2013, the world can’t end and have geo-domes that quick” anime
Summary: Dead end. I can stand on the sky, and turn to flowers? You listened to me so I sit next to you. Ahh couple’s clothes how cute. Daw. Wut, I kissed you because of reproductive desires? Open the giant windows and yell at the rain! He’s in your house. Chokeslam him! Yes stitches, and no I’m not a doctor, not even the other kind. Bored. You can’t handle the truth. Pwnd. Lol he’s just impressed. And there’s the yaoi vibe.
Review: This could actually be good. However I see it going the way of Night Head Genesis, aka very boring, and for the most part you just don’t feel for the characters. Yes discovering the subplot of the city is intriguing but josei where the characters are just running from the govt is overdone and frankly kinda boring.
Date Added: 7/12/11
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Name: Nurarihyon no Mago S2
Subtitle: The “I should just have a rule that if I quit the first season to blot the second from my memory of having to review it.” anime
Summary: Yeah I gave up on the first season on account of it being a boring suckfest so this has half an ep to do something. Shot through the heart and now you’re dead. OH GAWD I FORGOT HE HAD A BEEHIVE FOR A HEAD. Eyes bigger than your head. Lol dine and dash. What are they staring at? Lolwut. Disappointed. Yeah he actually does eat babies. And I’m done, yhup it’s just some backstory I don’t care about.
Review: Nope. If you liked S1 and you were eagerly awaiting this then might I suggest trying to see how many eggs you can get up your butt intact, and I just mildly dislike this series. Those still watching Seikon no Qwaser 2 can try the same thing but swap out eggs for lava.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Nyanpire
Subtitle: The “VampireCat = meh, Vampire with fake cat ears = ah the good ol’ days” anime
Summary: And the cat died. A vampire cat… It talks? It wants to suck your blood, and it just threw a tantrum. Really… Doesn’t like fish blood apparently. And there’s a live action with a chick dressed in goth clothing dancing on a bed that is tilted up, and I think the cat ears and vocals are trying to imply she is also this cat vampire abomination. Now she’s in a nurse outfit. Oh hai guy? Tuxedo mask? Ok…
Review: So it’s another short episode anime, this time a little bit kiddish with a cat vampire. I’ m not sure how I feel about this other than this doesn’t need to exist, and it does.
Date Added: 7/7/11
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Name: R-15!
Subtitle: The “This somehow manages to have the dumbest premise this season EDIT: OR NOT” anim
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Summary: Okay teacher student relation-WHAT THE HELL? THAT ISN’T CENSORSHOP YOU HAVE LITERALLY ADDED A SHAPE TO YOUR VIDEO FILE WITH WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER. WUT. Huh. Can I kill all of these characters. You were a porn author in middle school. A place where everyone just has creative talents and they don’t care about ethics. Wow. Just wow. Like anime is no longer looking for a vehicle to drive their plot now being entirely content to draw their own using crayons and Korean animation. You can’t say sex is the core of humanity and show naked lesbians, that literally undermines your point. How to trap a math genius: ask him what pi equals. Dead or Alive physics time? Wut…. Stoned to death. DEMON HAND. Huh? Punch the rocket! K.O. Instant bondage?
Review: You know why people make fanservice anime. Because it’s a guilty pleasure that people will turn on and watch even though it’s a bad anime. I know there’s nothing deep going on in Ikkitousen, but that doesn’t matter. So then I pose the question what’s the point of a fanservice anime, when you blot out the fanservice? I mean yes I get the whole bits of steam in the tv airing and nipples on dvd, but when the screen is pure white shapes then why would anyone watch it, like the show to any degree, and then buy the dvd? I mean if we want fanservice on dvd we’d just buy porn, so who would buy this? I can only assume those who buy fanservice anime on dvd’s because they feel slighted and must spend enormous amounts of money to watch godawful anime for those precious few seconds of panty shots and nip slips.
Date Added: 7/11/11
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Name: Ro-Kyu-Bu!
Subtitle: The “Beginning of my career as a Japanese animation studio killer.” anime
Summary: They’re all 7? It would appear this is going to call the loli card – with basketball school life. DAMMIT IT’S ANIME OPENING THE OPENING. There is a 1-tooth character. Kill me. You know what no, I am not letting this happening. This is the first thing I’m reviewing and I’m already rage quitting a show.
Review: This was literally the first thing I turned on for this season. I had a Gin + Tonic (Oddly Brentalfloss style) in hand and I still couldn’t handle it. Have you ever had anything metaphysically take a shit on you? Because that’s what you get here. The only thing to ever get the 2 minute rage quit is ToLoveRu S2, and that’s because of repressed memories. I don’t care if you believe in a god, but ask him/her to smite whosoever bright idea this anime was.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Sacred Seven
Subtitle: The “Sunrise/Clamp’s at it again.” anime
Summary: AND THE RIVERS ON MY MAP WILL RUN RED WITH BLOOD. Exo-skeletons eh? You are literally the exact same character design butler in 30% animes. Think you’re so cool with your flying skateboard. You’re dead kid. Hmm that’s what was bothering me. This anime stinks of Geass without the Batman Gambits. Beware my all female death squad. He’s got an app for you. PWND. He’s bleeding darkness, snipe him. FLCL horn? He’s a unicorn, yhup stinks of Geass. MEDUSA LASER! Like seriously the one glowing red eye thing? Not helping. Do it your dick commands it. GIANT EYES! Oh man it’s a Knightmare, like literally one ripped from Geass. Oh she’s Kafka from Zetsubou. Like a can opener. It’s a dragon. Attack the glowing weakpoint. Thumbs up? Really?
Review: Do you know why I recommended Star Driver, because it took 1 part of Code Geass that was good, aka the lulzy/fabulous everything, and oddly enough punching your father. Anyway this takes parts of Geass that are not lulzy/fabulous or you know the whole Xanatos/Batman gambit that people like in Death Note, and was the entire reason why people started watching Geass. Nope they figured man, people must have loved them some mechs, Clamp lanky characters, mediocre school drama, and of course the occasional bout of emotards. Yes Sunrise that’s what we liked, that’s what we liked.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Name: Usagi Drop
Subtitle: The “Clannad After Story, but without bullshit Retcons” anime
Summary: That’s an interesting art style. My god the filters. Transforming rabbits. Man that old geezer had some pimp-ability. Dude was 70 and getting chicks knocked up. Man kid it’s a funeral stop being a kid. Man she pwns at cat’s cradle. What a douche. Poop bomb? Go to bed kid. Disappointed. Nope he’s dead Jim. Bribe the kid. Of course no one wants the illegitimate child. Step up like a man-time. Freaks out wondering what did I do? Lol you’re an old man.
Review: It’s shoujo, but not romance. It actually looks like a good slice of life/drama. However I must reserve praise here because it’s not really explored how the series will go in further episodes. This was merely the setup and it does have potential, what remains is what it does with this. Do give it a watch though.
Date Added: 7/8/11
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Name: Uta no Prince-sama – Maji Love 1000%
Subtitle: The “Backstreets back TONIGHT!” anime
Summary: They only released this in 360p – that is not a good sign. It’s a bishounen boy band. I just can’t put words to this scene, I can’t even fathom it as a thing existing. Oh man you pushed her you’re arrested. Snow umbrellas? Oh I see it’s a reverse harem show. Good thing I’ve found that out because I was going to feel bad just quitting it midway based on a vibe of awfulness.
Review: I am a biased flawed man. For turning this off 5 minutes in I am however a better, saner man, and you should all be grateful.
Date Added: 7/8/11
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Name: Yuru Yuri
Subtitle: The “I swear to god if I see this anime again in the Fall I will finally admit the medium is dead” anime
Summary: Angry already. FACE PLANT. A spaz, aka Yui. And there’s the toast. Didn’t I see this last season it was called A Channel? SEARCH THE HOUSE FOR DRUGS AND PRON! Really you peeked? Wuttttttt. OH GAWD HER OLDER SISTER WANTS TO RAPE HER. I’ve seen some stuff man, and some things. No please no student council. Wut. Amusement club? I’m not nearly drunk enough for this. Okay does the yuri in the title mean you’re jut going to make lesbianish remarks or will full on lesbian sex just happen. STOLEN ANIMATION… wut. Huh? Lol narcissism. KILL ME. CARPET BOMB ME. I live in CT, just blow the whole state down. But you’re going to join because the 4 girl slice of life genre can’t just have 3 chars. EYE BATTLE! She’s got the crazy eyes. Boob missiles! DO IT! Really… YES SHE SNAPPED, KILL THEM ALL! Make this slightly interest-dammit she’s just an idiot.
Review: This anime made me ask you, the reader to carpet bomb my house. Since this isn’t Twitter you didn’t get that message. Therefore I’d prefer if you’d carpet bomb the studio and Rie Kugimiya. She’s not in this anime (thank god), but I’d consider it a personal favor. If you’re still reading this to find out how I really feel, it’s somewhere between rage and psychosis.
Date Added: 7/6/11
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Final Thoughts
Whelp what a load of shit, dammit I did that thing where I made my opinion clear in the first sentence again. Alright seriously though I’m not a fan of much of anything this season. Look at it this way ~26 animes came, and I’m dropping half. Guys you know I drop like 5-7 max, max, but this season I needed to use the scanners image – yeah that bad. Summer is statistically bad, but this is just painful. Fall though looks like it’ll have some keepers, so take it from me, the guy who normally watches 30-50 series and has a library of over 500 animes, go watch something on your watchlist that’s really good and that you’ve been meaning to watch and hope summer will be over quickly.
If you’re still commited to the season and keeping up with new anime here’s my suggestions: Mawaru Penguindrum for all, Natsume, Nurari, and Baka Test if you like previous seasons, Usagi Drop if you can watch a drama piece, Manyuu if you like to watch white walls with accompanying moaning sounds and godawful plot, Kamisama Dolls and Blood-C if you’re an adventurous otaku who believes a series can get much better than the first ep, Yuru Yuri and Morita-san if you’re jonesing for that 4 girl boring ass shit fix, Blade if you work for a comic book company, Ro-Kyu-Bu if you’re a pedophile, Sacred Seven if you hope that gg + sunrise + clamp can make another successful troll, and Uta No Prince if you just hate yourself.
That’s all the help I’m legally allowed to give after bashing in the skulls of ToLoveRu fans so enjoy your summer – watching old series you haven’t seen yet like Last Exile, Nerima Daikon Brothers, and Pani Poni Dash. Oh wait that’s what I’m doing. Well good luck anime weebs.
Peace out.