Ahh a return to summer where the anime sucks more, but at least there’s less of them. Seriously though I often have a few series from sequels or manga or Shaft/Gainax that I at least can take solace in. I often even have something from the previous season so good that I could care less about the current one. That hope is dead – the only thing I really have is Fairy Tail and Hunter x Hunter – everything else is ended. And the only new thing that I want is Moyashimon 2.

2-animu-summer-2012-600px

I need something to be good – I really do. Sure I have a little of a backlog from the mid-tier stuff from last season, but so far with the first batch – I’ve found nothing I’ve liked. I hate to say it, but anime may truly be dead this season – we may have to wait for Fall. I mean Dog Days has a sequel this season, and by god they’ve just set the bar so low. I often wonder if this is done purposely by the industry.

I’m serious if all the good animes we’re during the summer break young kids and adults wouldn’t go outside or on dates to hopefully improve the birth rate and lower obesity. It’s really the only explanation I can formulate. Alas it would appear my summer will be spent not with new anime, but with video games that started piling up last November.

 

No real changes to the format this season. So like previous seasons I won’t keep you waiting three weeks to get your reviews, and be updating daily filling in new shows. I’ll have a list at the bottom of shows not aired, and check back every couple of days to see what my opinion/ADHD summary is. (Note: Once again all images from MyAnimeList.net). Updates in Bold.

 

Also since chartfag is down forever and his anime season charts are harder to find I’ll include them here. [Summer Chart]

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Name: Binbougami ga!

Subtitle: The “Rub my tits for good luck” anime

binbougmai

Summary: Lol pain in the ass. And she needs to fix giant boobs. 3-Way? God of flatness. Creepy. Yeah because why have giant tits and be intelligent. Lol she’s an asshole. DEAD. Lol. WHY DID HE STRIP? Da country of the gods. AND DBZ showed up. Gross. Lol socialism. WUT. Stabbed. BOOM HEADSHOT! Friendship. Okay… And heart attack. DEPRESSION. WA BAM! IT’S A STAMPEDE! GOOD LUCK BOMB! You’re fired. Lol. Then some great underboob. THAT WAS FAST! – shit they copied me.

Review: You know I actually like this – it’s got some good slapstick and character reactions. I mean unfortunately I’m unsure where they could really go from here out, and whether it’s a good outlook, but as it stands I am intrigued and most of all not outraged at this series for existing. I can’t outright recommend it completely, but give it a few episodes

Date Added: 07/05/12

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Name: Campione!

Subtitle: The “My apologies it was a combo of Princess Lover and Fate Stay/Night” anime

campione

Summary: How convenient you speak Japanese. You are basically mugging him. YO FUCK YOU SHAKUGAN NO SHANA IS OVER. I’m kind of a big deal. HORSEY TIME! KRATOS! Whut. No your anime is not interesting. LOLOL. Still down to fuck? Assassin’s Creed? Nah that’s fine. Boss tier. I’m pretty sure it’s ladylike with the boobs and all. Shadow of the Colossus? GOD FIGHTER. Pokemon? MEN ARE TALKING. KAMEHAMEHA! Cut that bitch, super good luck? Ghey.

Review: So raise your hand here if you thought Fate Stay/Night was the best and you would like some derivative shit of that? Hands still raised? Good because the snipers will deal with you shortly. I mean honestly I have to wonder how anyone could watch this and get psyched about it. Anime is supposed to make you want to watch it, it’s the feeling of checking Tosho 5 times because the episode should be out by now and goddamn you want to see it – it shouldn’t be the most blasé boring drivel that they producers feel they can get away with.

Date Added: 07/07/12

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Name: Chitose Get You

Subtitle: The “The title implies she succeeds –shudder-” anime

chitose

Summary: You’re 11 and it’s about an older guy you like. So reverse pedophilia? Oh yeah so evil. So it’s rescuer’s syndrome. How did that teacher get out of Azumanga? Oh so it’s 3 minutes, but not flash – still shit though.

Review: I’ve already seen this, except it was a kindergartner which made it less creepy than an 11 year old kid. Seriously Japan re-evaluate yourselves.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Dakara Boku wa, H ga Dekinai

Subtitle: The “Why not just stop the fight scene and have characters bone each other to cast magic since that seems to be what you want to do” anime

dakara

Summary: That dog is too big for Japan. Really Japan. And enter demon bullshit. You just don’t say that – who are you to talk Hisoka wannabe? Wet. Seriously that’s your description? Smooth. Yes search for pathetic people. Steal a soul, take a bath. Are you screaming? POP? RIGHT INTO IT.  Well the curtains match the drapes. And explanation. MILLIONS OF BUGS. Bored. And convenient plot reasoning for groping in 1. 3 Dammit. That’s exactly what will happen.  YOU’RE GONNA DIE!

Review: Like honestly, honestly Japan anime producers. I understand that you need to make shit that’s basically a rehash of other shit. Give it a little bit of time though – because things like Highschool DxD are still fresh in people’s minds with its awfulness. The only differences I’m even seeing here are that the main heroine is tsundere, and you stole some bits of Qwaser to make groping power-ups, oh and you got rid of chess bullshit. THAT’S ABOUT IT.

Date Added: 07/07/12

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Name: Dog Days S2

Subtitle: The “Looking for an argument against catgirls? HERE YOU GO” anime

spayandneutereverything

Summary: STUPID. Wait how does that even work – he was summoned… God this is dumb. From where platform 9 and ¾? Need to go hug dat bitch. LITERALLY. Harem crap… GODDAMMIT MY BROTHERS FRIENDS ARE ALL FURRIES. GOD I HAD FORGOTTEN IT WAS SO STUPID. Oh hi Natsu. Bored. Artillery. Ikkitousen rules? Then suddenly nukes get involved and everyone dies. SHUTUP I CAN DREAM. And now they’re introducing other types of furries – how great.

Review: I had forgotten how dumb this show was since I reviewed the first season – and it appears they ended that at the very least cleanly, but no a sequel had to made. Why? I don’t know at this point anymore.

Date Added: 07/12/12

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Name: Hagure Yuusha no Estetica

Subtitle: The “This anime had a special with Queen’s Blade – all you need to know” anime

hagure

Summary: Arrows fired by maids are often ineffective. Then he ate their earlobes. Smooth. Is this a sequel to some crap, oh just checked. It’s meant to be a thing after the guy defeats a demon king. She crying. And he snuck one home? Why does he have a naked chick in a bag? Stupid. Whut. Seriously this is just the stupidest excuse for anything. My god all the convenient plot reasoning. Lol. Ahh.

Review: This is quite possibly one of the most contrived things in the world that I’ve ever seen. It’s downright stupid in nearly every single convenient plot device that I wonder why they didn’t just say fuck and not explain shit. I mean seriously if we ever have events where people get spirited away only to come back with magic – which btw makes NO SENSE AT ALL. I’m pretty sure our first idea isn’t going to put them in a battle school so they could have stupid internal fights and shit.

Date Added: 07/08/12

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Name: Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita

Subtitle: The “Only show with a bleeding piece of bread” anime

jinrui

Summary: Why is hair growth an issue? Wut? THAT IS CREEPY AS HELL. Don’t stab the chickens a whole lot of them will kill you. God those things are creepy. Fairy goods? Bad. Choice. Of. Words. IT’S TOFU. ROGAINE! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. Mystery of the chicken solved. Avant Garde more like stupid. Lol you suck. Your bread is made from trash. BLOOD! Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.

Review: I’ll admit I don’t outright hate this – but stop there before you wonder if I’m proclaiming my love for this – or even recommending it. All I can say is that in a few episodes I might be able to tell you to watch this – do I expect that to happen? Of course not. I suppose stay tuned to What’s Nu in Animu podcasts for more.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Joshiraku

Subtitle: The “Dammit Shaft you should have been all over this” anime

joshiraku

Summary: Who’s there? Bad joke is bad. Whatup tank? Wow that’s breaking some 4th wall shit. Yhup. That’s not what I want. Blend in. WHAT JOB IS THAT? Pajamas are the answer. Lol. And do the joke again. That oddly does make sense. Only fairies? Flip-book animation time? METAL! HURR. Lol. Ninja drummer? Cats vs. dogs. I do that all the time. Boring talk time. Lol racism.

Review: The issue with this show is that though it’s meant to be some more comedy than the standard 4-girl koma – it still feels like a 4-girl koma. It’s from Zetsubou fame so I’ll give it some more time, but not a stellar showing at first.

Date Added: 07/12/12

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Name: Kingdom

Subtitle: The “IT BURNS MY EYES” anime

kingdom

Summary: MY GOD THE CG – THERE IS NO WAY I CAN HANDLE THIS. GOD IT’S SO AWFUL. Nope not even giving this 2 of its 50 minutes

Review: Now I often get up on my pedestal and tell people that if they are unwilling to watch a show because the art style is for lack of a better word – out there. (New Lupin for example), and such people are basically a pack of jackass fucktards – It would appear there is a line. This line is uncanny valley/bad cg. BECAUSE HOLY SHIT. Now I know that things like cars and some dance sequences get cg’d in because it’s easier, but nearly all character movement is cg, and it shows – oh boy does it show. Simply watch the first conversation and if you can somehow stand to watch the whole show please inform what it’s about – because I sure as shit am not watching 50 minutes of it.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Kokoro Connect

Subtitle: The “Now voiced by Vince Vaughn” anime

kokoro

Summary: I assume a collective dream is at play here. So the reject club. Bitches give no shits about wrestling. Oh so she’s a pervert. They’re dating. WAIT WHAT… And switch-a-roo. Touch dem titties. Lesbians talk with their bodies. Ow. Dammit. Nope just trolling. Yes. That you’re sterile. So random time. SAD FAMILY. NOBODY DISAGREES WITH ICE CREAM.

Review: It’s body-swapping. Sadly Japan didn’t get the memo from American movies that this concept is over and done – and that we as a planet are trying to move on.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon S2

Subtitle: The “I can remember every GoT character and I forgot all of these chars.” anime

horizon2

Summary: Why is he naked? Those aren’t real. Does that mech have stupidly large tits? So they’re just throwing pipes at a baseball team. Yes that is a tit mech – and there’s some of them fighting. I seriously do not care about your names and titles. Huh. It’s basically like jello. We have it all the time – like I’m surprised you haven’t noticed. Like are they fighting to kill is this some sort of battle? Huh? No a box. REALLY? Dickpunches. Like my god this whole thing is dumb. Wut. Does that guy have tits?

Review: If you’re one of those people who simply need an anime to watch, but don’t care about no sense of a good story or plot, want a zillion characters more unrecognizable from the other aside from their chests or that 1 naked guy, if you simply just want a mediocre anime to satiate some sort of weeaboo need, and you’ve somehow exhausted anything else from these season – or any anime from the past 30 years – then I guess sure watch this.

Date Added: 07/12/12

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Name: Koi to Senkyo to Chocolate

Subtitle: The “Why do I feel this whole chocolate thing is an euphemism for his dick?” anime

chocolate

Summary: Since when did school clubs host illegal deals in the open like that? COUNTER-SPIES. HIT HER, oh shit they did. BLOOD! Intrigue shortly ruined by typical Japanese high school stuff – thank god because that’s what anime should be about right? Dat kit kat bar. No he just has morning wood. Penises are not weird. Damn kids. Oh you gave the white flare censor a name? Child scientist anyone? Dammit. WUT. That thing. Uhh okay? CRASH. You’re the main character did they not tell you?

Review: Fuck student councils. When the main character says – yeah we kinda are a do-nothing club the anime should have just ended there. BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT A DO-NOTHING CLUB, WITH DO-NOTHING CHARACTERS WHO DECIDE THAT THEY SHOULD BECOME A DO-NOTHING STUDENT COUNCIL TO CONTINUE TO DO-NOTHING BECAUSE THE PLOT WAS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO BASICALLY DO-NOTHING.

Date Added: 07/07/12

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Name: La Storia della Arcana Famiglia

Subtitle: The “I’ll take substance over style – erryday” anime

phony

Summary: FANCY HAT TIME! DYNO-MITE! That guy said your cute. So is this like some kinda Baccano sequel. All the firepower. Stop undressing people with your sword. I’m not digging the whole 1 chick thing. The owl is actually a princess. The owl is the cause of her tomboyness. Why do you want the gay guys dick? And his too, what a slut. EXPLAININ PLOT. The butler did it. ZA WORLDO. I’M THE BOSS SICK IT. PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. God these guys need a girlfriend so much. Whoever wins doesn’t get to have sex with her, except it will happen anyway.

Review: I bet a few of you were expecting to show up here, and hear me praise this as a few other blogs have done, but nope. I actually genuinely hate this series, and I can explain why. This anime is to oversimplify – a fake. It has no real substance beyond it’s downright pandering to audience capabilities. Everything from the throwaway plot, the costumes, the stupendous love triangle, the big guns and actions scenes, and the Fujoshi bait characters aren’t there to tell a story, they’re not making an anime – they’ve simply taken the bits that you use in an anime – threw them at a wall and expected profit. And the worst part is – it will happen. I’m not saying this is like transformers, because at least transformers is trying to be something – this is literally just a vent for fangirls to get their jollies, and some men to watch for the pointless action.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Moyashimon Returns

Subtitle: The “It’s like the infectious disease plush line except Japan” anime

moyashimon

Summary: MICROBES! And cross dressing already. DAT FACE. Secret lab. Why would they give a grad student a whip? YO ANIME STOP DOING THIS TO ME – I KNOW THAT SONG IN THE BACKGROUND PLAY THE WHOLE THING SO IT DOESN’T BUG ME. And sake lesson. SHINIES ARE AWESOME. SHIT they just YOLO’d. Wut. Secrets. Why is he in there… TAXES. He went to the secret lair. She pissed.

Review: Really if you’ve seen the first not much has changed. And while I said I looked forward to this – it’s not out of love for this series but as a desperate solid rock for something to watch this season.

Date Added: 07/05/12

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Name: Muv Luv 2

Subtitle: The “This is why I can’t be sober” anime

godisdead

Summary: Hippies? WUT. We hadn’t even landed on the moon in 1967. WHY ARE THEIR MUZZLE FLASHES IN SPACE – THERE IS NO AIR. GUNDAMS. Bored. THEY KILL WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT. Gay. Worst acronym ever. Lolol we need to act poor. All the death flags. And then skintight suits that make it look like the boobs are sticking out… Like serious they chose flesh color on purpose.. BLOOD! So dead. War has changed. Giant laser crabs.

Review: There. You clearly wanted it fans of Sekerei, ToLoveRu, and Infinite Stratos. This is what you made the industry do, by watching and buying this crap. Fuck you, including all of you.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Natsuyuki Rendezvous

Subtitle: The “Ghosts = The Ultimate Cock-Blocks” anime

natsuyuki

Summary: Renton? Oh it’s a chick. ALL THE POLLEN. God her eyes are like way too big. And now he works there. I need you to help with some plumbing. Whatup skinny half naked guy. JAM. GOD DAMN ITALIANS. And confirm you’re a ghost. Yeah dying does tend to screw up contracts. Lol he had a bad memory and was diseased. GREAT SUCCESS. GHOST. Pot meet kettle. I win. Nice. Damn smooth. HAWKWARD. Yhup. You’re not really stealing her – I mean I guess it’s like grave robbing –sort of.

Review: Uggggghhh I don’t know – I mean part of me wants to say this is good – but I mean it’s really all standard generic fare here. You just know that she’s gonna be all defensive about the romance – the main character will chip it away with the dead husband egging him on/revealing plot critical stuff, and it’ll most likely end with them getting together and the ghost disappearing. So since I basically just thought-ruined the whole story I just can’t say it’s worth the time. Hopefully I’ll be wrong. (Never wrong no matter how much I want to be.)

Date Added: 07/05/12

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Name: Nono Naka ni Hitori, Imouto ga Iru!

Subtitle: The “Incest = the most dangerous game” anime

nononaka

Summary: Dead. Cue plot of stupid.  Goddamn it. Like it’s Russian roulette expect one’s your sister, who wants to bang you. Lol social pressures. Sweet they gave you a fuckpad. Supposed to lead a giant company, gets lost. She gave you a fuckpad. Who pushed her? GHAY. Enter tsundere. He has money = hawt. So dumb. CONVIENENT PLOT POINT! It probably didn’t hurt at all. DAMN she’s fast. Wow counter fast. Okay this is kinda creepy stalkerish. WUT. Seriously who are you to talk? AND SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE. Nope because a plot this dumb won’t stop.

Review: Honestly I’ve heard of stupid plots, but this is getting up there. I mean if you told me that my sister is secretly watching me, and wants to marry me – I’d get the fuck out of there because clearly she’s going to stab me. Literally though the premise is that he needs to bang a chick from this harem with the additive that one would be his sister – which normally would be scary enough to leave it all alone, but this is Japan so that’s hawt and what you’re supposed to root for.

Date Added: 07/08/12

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Name: Oda Nobuna no Yabou

Subtitle: The “I remember when history when it wasn’t superimposed moe” anime

nobuna

Summary: DEAD! What? I could fuck that c’mon. Really? Yhup game over. AND FUCK THIS. And he’s getting off on this. Stupid plot point. Yes because they had soccer. And Japan rejoiced. Stupid. And he’s from the future! He can see the future – that’s hot. And dress up time. Really? This is just stupid. Is this supposed to be badass? Cue stupid shit.

Review: Again Japan has decided to replace their history with little girls. And then they threw some Kid in King Arthurs Court because why the fuck not – you want to know why the fuck not? BECAUSE THAT’S FUCKEN STUPID.

Date Added: 07/09/12

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Name: Rinne no Lagrange S2

Subtitle: The “Who cares about aliens and mechs anymore?” anime

rinne

Summary: That’s what happens when one pilots a mech and finishes saving the world – they find they lack any real skills to survive in the real world. Mind rape! Proceed. War never changes. Lol tropes for fangirls. Just got out life-guarded. Boning aliens – it’s romantic. Dead face. Depression. COSMIC HUG. Pointless exercises. Enter third main character. Cue them fighting and her getting the robot working to stop them. Percussion maintenance.  Pretty sure there was a chute for that…

Review: The show starts with the main character not knowing what she wants to do with her life and I can’t help but draw the parallel to the show itself. Even the end of last season you just get the sense that they’re not really going anywhere with this show. Sure there’s little subplots and such, and they’ve got a bit of decent characterization, but there doesn’t seem to be an overall drive or for that matter any sense of pace to the show. I mean a show can be slow and take forever to get to its point but you still feel like it’s going to get there.

Date Added: 07/12/12

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Name: Sword Art Online

Subtitle: The “Only way to get people to play FF XIII” anime

swordartonline

Summary: VRMMORPG – all the acronym. Lame. So stupid. UNLIMITED SKILLS – NO MAGIC – FINAL DESTINATION. That’s a psychological issue. That’s a bad idea – that could like literally kill people. Helping noobs. OH SHIT. THEY’RE STUCK IN THE GAME. Then shit got dark. Big ben. Now here comes the reveal that you’re all trapped here. Game got hacked. It’s a feature not a bug.  213 people are dead! YOU DIE IN THE GAME – YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE. Potions are now super rare. Lolol now you can’t lie about who you are. Suddenly the game became a sausage fest. I wanted to be god. Ghey.

Review: This really is a grim look at the future because you can guarantee that once we can get people into a virtual environment – hackers will trap people in it – granted there’s quite a lot of circumstances going on that make such a thing possible – and it’s a little alarming that no one I dunno – checked up on this.

Date Added: 07/09/12

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Name: Tanken Driland

Subtitle: The “MY PARENTS ARE DEAD – so can I go explore shit?” anime

tanken

Summary: So Magic archeologists? And they’re all chibis. Hunter x Hunter? Fcuk you grandma. LENS FLARE. Gotcha. I’m the princess – I do what I want. That hawk has seen things man – things a hawk should not see. Too bad you fall and die. Uhh gravity? Whatup Macguffin. Way too low level, should grind some more. Dead. Why didn’t you magic sword that guy before?

Review: This is for children – and while I know some animes are children-acceptable this is for downright grade school kids. This is fine – I mean most Miyazaki films are aimed at kids, but the issue is they’re still good movies for adults. This shit is not. It’s the Dora the Explorer of anime.

Date Added: 07/08/12

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Name: Tari Tari

Subtitle: The “I’d rather have books for friends than watch this” anime

tari

Summary: Lol horse. Otherwise boring as shit. The cat is called Dora – I bet it explores things. LONLEY BOY! Why do they all have flowers? MY FRIENDS ARE BOOKS! HAHAHA dork. Yeah bitch. I THREW IT ON THE GROUND. I’m gonna go shoot her with an arrow. Worst archer ever. Why is singing such a touchy subject? I give 0 fucks. Hey guys look it’s some crazy chick singing in the middle of that thing. Man guess who’s gonna be the club – I bet it’s those 5 people.

Review: It’s another club of rejects, and it’s about a choir. I’m finding it so hard to give a fuck about this anime I can barely give a fuck about reviewing it. I’ll keep on to not seem lazy – but that’s the only reason. First off the whole club barely formed by people who don’t even really want to be there, but are following this one charismatic chick has been done to death to death. Secondly the only people who care about singing are idol faggots. And third – hhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr HIGHSCHOOL BULLSHIT. I swear this things fell out of the generic anime tropes tree and managed to hit every gorram twig.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Utakoi

Subtitle: The “They should have sent a poet” anime

utakoi

Summary: So it’s about poetry. Oh just please kill me. Oh so it’s about priests making out. The question is how many of those we’re actually female? That’s just a euphemism for boning. He’s going to get you so you turn your ass to him? And he gets you to strip. Damn he got you in the sack easy. He gave up easy. Lol affairs. Cheeky brat. He wants you, stop messing with him. Bored.

Review: This is clearly a fantastic series that deserves to be shot in the head in front of its family. Honestly I put this up there with what I hear 50 Shades of Gray is about – in that it’s a bogus period piece about poetry and sexual affairs. – And no those looking for your porn that is just shy of being full hentai so it’s somehow sexy need not apply as this is fairly chaste. (Aka all of the blanket covering female chest but none of the males). Honestly I don’t even know anymore what anime thinks it’s doing.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Yuru Yuri S2

Subtitle: The “All aboard for a newer, moe-er Ichigo Mashimaro” anime

yuru

Summary: And then I drank some more. Oh god it’s the one about tea ceremonies with lesbian undertones. So this is a dream right, because if it’s not fuck this noise. Nope it’s worse it’s a 10 minute dream sequence about loving the main character. (I skipped ahead, and then turned it off, because FUCK. THAT.)

Review: When did it become okay in anime to have the first episode of the second season not be as kickass as the first (and no this is not an example of kickass even remotely), but that things should be a joke/parody/something completely different. First this was about as sickly cute as vomiting dog shit – but it went on. FOR 10 MINUTES. That I didn’t watch – thank god. But I never saw the first series and I knew it was joke – so why did you keep it going? Oh right because your whole deal is the be the filler between the minds of your viewers as they clearly lack a brain.

Date Added: 07/04/12

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Name: Yurumates 3D S2

Subtitle: The “Meh” anime

yurumates

Summary: Oh a 3 minute deal. Mech intro – not a mech anime – thinks this funny – it’s not. Yhup some bad Hidamari. She’s not a baby… Okay she actually is one I guess. DEAD.

Review: I dunno – I mean I missed the first season, but I see no reason to watch this – even if it is only 3 minutes long.

Date Added: 07/12/12

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End of to be Subbed/Reviewed list, and I won’t lie to you – this is one of the worst seasons in recent memory. I mean the only thing I can half-recommend is Binbou, Natsuyuki and Sword Art – and again I’m not sold on either of those series as well. I’ve got a few in my basket of anime that I’ll watch and expect some updates in our next podcast – but for now I’d say go catch up on some the spring animes as there were quite a few good ones.

 

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